Lauren Rodych-Eberle
Calgary, Alberta, CANADA

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I’m a Mom and I Don’t Say “Be Careful”
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Blog, Hiking & The Outdoors, Parenting

I’m a Mom and I Don’t Say “Be Careful”

November 10, 2021
-
Posted by Lauren Rodych-Eberle

In the adventure circles I run in, and over at Kids Who Explore, this topic is widely discussed. Because of that, it almost feels redundant to write about it, but whenever I say that I’m not a fan of using the words “be careful” for my child, I’m always met with more questions, so, I’m putting it in writing!!

Why Not Say “Be Careful?”

What does “be careful” mean? To anyone, really, but especially a child. When you say “be careful,” a child is often not seeing, or able to put together what you are thinking/seeing/meaning, and most definitely, they are not understanding quickly enough for it to take effect. “Be careful” also gets used for so many things, that it simply gets tuned out.

Another important reason to avoid “be careful” is that we want kids to take age-appropriate risks. We want them to adventure, to not be over-afraid, and to let them problem solve for themselves (safely, of course).

What Can You Say Instead?

Be specific.
If you’re outside and you want them to watch out for something, you can say, “See that log in front of you,” or “Watch out for that animal poop,” or “Stay on the trail.” I like to remind C to keep her eyes forward, or look where she’s walking. If you’re worried about them falling at the playground or off the couch, you could say, “Take big steps,” or “Hold on tight,” or “Stay in the centre of the couch.”

Ask Questions.
You may say, “Do you feel safe?” or “What’s your plan now?/What’s you’re next step?/What’s your plan to get down from there?” or “Where are you going to put your foot next?” This gets them thinking and problem solving on their own!

Help Them Understand Why.
Why would it be dangerous to run up ahead on the trail? Why do they have to hold your hand in the parking lot? Why can’t they cross the street when the “hand sign” is up? Of course, explaining in age-appropriate ways as kids grow, develop, and learn.

What’s the Goal?

Once you become more thoughtful with what you’re saying to kids, your words aren’t simply background noise; Children won’t tune them out. What that means, is kids will be careful! They will listen to your suggestions, they will think about your questions, and they will problem solve for themselves.

While You’re At It, Reserve “Stop”

While we are growing and changing our language, we can also reserve the word “stop” for big moments, and maybe that’s where “be careful” belongs too. You want your child to stop moving their body the moment you tell them to, if it means they are going to run into oncoming traffic, for example. So, I suggest reserving “stop” and “be careful” for the big moments – make those words mean something!

Thanks for stopping by!

November 10, 2021
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ABOUT ME
I’m Lauren and I have a deep passion for music, food, the outdoors, and travel. I love random questions and fun facts, and am always searching for better ways to bring wellness and health into my life. I am the owner of Miss Lauren’s Music Studio, where I teach voice, piano, ukulele, and preschool music classes – via Skype and within Calgary. I am a Senior Consultant for Pampered Chef, which has inspired me over the years to write two cookbooks (plus one mini ebook cookbook), that have food preparation made easy in the forefront.
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The stuff. I know this is a privileged point, so please be kind. I’ve always attempted to be a wannabe-minimalist (seeing as I have two of everything living between two places, but I want everything to have a purpose and a ‘home.’). 

I’ve very much noticed this be a trigger point for me since having kids, because J and I both have big families, and although their gift giving comes with so much heart and generosity, I’ve tried to find ways to bring in less stuff and to teach my kids to appreciate each gift, sooo less is more. 

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With C’s birthday party coming up, she asked for no gifts (OR a book as a gift).

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Have you found any ways to minimize the stuff chaos in your house?!
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Do you hang out in the shop with the kids for hours? Do you bring travel car seats and install them to get them home? Honestly, what have y’all done? Having another human help isn’t the solution here for me this time…😅
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🎶’Cause I got a roof over my head I got a war 🎶’Cause I got a roof over my head
I got a warm body in bed
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With what I have

[I got a Jeep, I got a dog]
I got what they call a dream job
Plenty to want, nothing wrong with that
But I'm happy with what I have

I got the air, good eyes to see
Got so much more than I'll ever need
Even the bad days ain't all that bad
With what I have🎶
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It’s not a competition, but if J was trying to w It’s not a competition, but if J was trying to win at Christmas, he did. For my gift he booked @throughcarrieslens to come follow our family on our Anniversary hike this year and take pictures of our butts…🤣 Maybe it’s because he knows pictures of him wearing our babies has me like…😍

Countdown to see you, @throughcarrieslens!
“Don’t worry so much about raising good kids t “Don’t worry so much about raising good kids that you forget you already have them.”🤍
J: Can we start weekly date night again? Also J: J: Can we start weekly date night again?

Also J: Okay, see you in two weeks after our road trip. 

[A real conversation we had recently…
Appreciate the sentiment, AND weekly may have been a bit ambitious.]
Thank you to @babyknitsco for this toque. Thank yo Thank you to @babyknitsco for this toque. Thank you to @schoenanigans for this onesie that will live on for every kiddo. Thank you to my non-Instagram husband for these babies.
Ready to hear my biggest overwhelm? The stuff. I Ready to hear my biggest overwhelm?

The stuff. I know this is a privileged point, so please be kind. I’ve always attempted to be a wannabe-minimalist (seeing as I have two of everything living between two places, but I want everything to have a purpose and a ‘home.’). 

I’ve very much noticed this be a trigger point for me since having kids, because J and I both have big families, and although their gift giving comes with so much heart and generosity, I’ve tried to find ways to bring in less stuff and to teach my kids to appreciate each gift, sooo less is more. 

Many years ago, my siblings adopted Sibling Christmas where instead of gifts, we have a special night out together! We love this tradition. After the overwhelm I felt this Christmas, being generously gifted Eberle gifts for now TWO kids, I asked J’s siblings if we can adopt a family-friendly event next year and remove all aunt/uncle/cousin gifts. Shout out to all my brother/sister-in-laws for getting on board. 

With C’s birthday party coming up, she asked for no gifts (OR a book as a gift).

Small steps, but always trying!!

Have you found any ways to minimize the stuff chaos in your house?!
You know what’s the trickiest thing to navigate You know what’s the trickiest thing to navigate while solo parenting?

Taking your car to the shop with car seat aged kids. 

Do you hang out in the shop with the kids for hours? Do you bring travel car seats and install them to get them home? Honestly, what have y’all done? Having another human help isn’t the solution here for me this time…😅
There is no one more present than a baby. Our kidd There is no one more present than a baby. Our kiddos have so much to teach us. 

#babyrodycheberle2
🎶’Cause I got a roof over my head I got a war 🎶’Cause I got a roof over my head
I got a warm body in bed
I'm doing alright right where I'm at
With what I have

[I got a Jeep, I got a dog]
I got what they call a dream job
Plenty to want, nothing wrong with that
But I'm happy with what I have

I got the air, good eyes to see
Got so much more than I'll ever need
Even the bad days ain't all that bad
With what I have🎶
-Kelsea Ballerini
It’s not a competition, but if J was trying to w It’s not a competition, but if J was trying to win at Christmas, he did. For my gift he booked @throughcarrieslens to come follow our family on our Anniversary hike this year and take pictures of our butts…🤣 Maybe it’s because he knows pictures of him wearing our babies has me like…😍

Countdown to see you, @throughcarrieslens!
“Don’t worry so much about raising good kids t “Don’t worry so much about raising good kids that you forget you already have them.”🤍
J: Can we start weekly date night again? Also J: J: Can we start weekly date night again?

Also J: Okay, see you in two weeks after our road trip. 

[A real conversation we had recently…
Appreciate the sentiment, AND weekly may have been a bit ambitious.]
Thank you to @babyknitsco for this toque. Thank yo Thank you to @babyknitsco for this toque. Thank you to @schoenanigans for this onesie that will live on for every kiddo. Thank you to my non-Instagram husband for these babies.
In honour of @michaelferraro_music’s birthday, h In honour of @michaelferraro_music’s birthday, here’s a serious throwback. Go give his band @pinebarren.music a follow!

#lebsinging #nashvillecover
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Owner of Miss Lauren’s Music Studio. Author of the Brownie Pan Every Damn Day Cookbooks. Consultant for Pampered Chef. Lover of Random Questions.

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