Lauren Rodych-Eberle
Calgary, Alberta, CANADA

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Why My Child Chooses Who To Hug
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Blog, Parenting, Wellness

Why My Child Chooses Who To Hug

September 9, 2021
-
Posted by Lauren Rodych-Eberle

I believe in bodily autonomy. Bodily autonomy is defined as, “the right to make decisions over one’s own [body]. It is about being empowered to make informed choices.” 

When it comes to my child(ren), I want them to learn bodily autonomy right from the get go. I want them to know that their body is their own and that they can choose what they want to do with it, when they want to.

Now, how does this play out with a child so young? It starts by adults being okay with hearing the word “no,” or seeing a head shake “no,” or understanding a cry “no,” or responding to a body-tense-up “no”. 

I have never forced my daughter to hug anyone, because I don’t want to teach her that she has to do anything with her body that she doesn’t want to do herself. I’ve shared this often, and with it comes a lot of push back from people, saying things like, “how can you not make sure your child hugs their grandma and grandpa goodbye?” Truth is, I fully understand if my daughter doesn’t want to hug her grandma, or grandpa, or auntie, or uncle, or cousin, or dad, or me for that matter!! 

I often explain it to people by getting them to think of a child as an adult. How would YOU feel, as an adult, if you were told you had to hug, or kiss, or hold hands, with someone? 

How to implement this:

  • Ask The Child: My phrases are usually something like, “Do you want to give grandma a hug? A high five? Do you want to blow a kiss?”
  • Be Okay with “No:” If they don’t want to do any of those things, that’s okay! I then follow up with something like, “That’s okay. Maybe next time if you want to!” Or “Alright, I’m going to wave goodbye to grandma!”
  • Be Confident with Your Boundaries: Not everyone is going to be okay with this. But I would rather take the brunt of it, than my child. This is when I will say to those people, “She will hug you when/if she’s ready.” And if I need to, I explain more of the why behind these choices. 

Here’s My Why!

I want my children to grow up and become adults who don’t feel guilt that then forces them to do something they don’t want to do. 

If I teach my children they have to hug someone even when they don’t want to, what is going to happen when they are older and someone tells them they have to do something more physical? Or what if someone simply asks them to do something more physical, and they are too scared to say no, because they’ve never been allowed to?

“No” is an important word. “No” is a full sentence. And “no” starts before babies can even say it!

September 9, 2021
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ABOUT ME
I’m Lauren and I have a deep passion for music, food, the outdoors, and travel. I love random questions and fun facts, and am always searching for better ways to bring wellness and health into my life. I am the owner of Miss Lauren’s Music Studio, where I teach voice, piano, ukulele, and preschool music classes – via Skype and within Calgary. I am a Senior Consultant for Pampered Chef, which has inspired me over the years to write two cookbooks (plus one mini ebook cookbook), that have food preparation made easy in the forefront.
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As of yesterday, the full course is released, and this wave of relief just washed over me!! The amount of time, energy, and resources that goes into these courses is more than I would have ever known, but I’m so happy, and grateful to have them available to people for a lifetime, and also to have a way to continue to offer music to many more people, in many more homes, for unlimited time!!

Tomorrow I’ll release a blog that will answer all the top questions I’ve been asked about my Preschool Music eCourse and my Beginner Piano eCourse, so you can see if they are a fit for you or anyone you know!!

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2. I’ve always had multiple jobs from the time I was a teenager…I sum it up to me thinking that variety is the spice of life. 

3. I believe ketchup and mustard belong on breakfast egg sandwiches. 

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5. Even though I said variety is the spice of life, I am wildly good with repetition for an incredible amount of time…the same food, the same song, the same walk…I don’t know if it’s patience or just insanity, but I don’t get sick of the same thing over and over and over and over and over again. 

Give me a fun fact about you!!

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My brother sent me this quote from The Family Man and it gave me chills. That sums it up. That’s [hockey] life. I choose him…🤍
I know y’all had high hopes for me at the beginn I know y’all had high hopes for me at the beginning of the season that I’d attend a record amount of hockey games, but I can tell you, that has not happened…oops. 

Still his #1 (and 2) fan. Go J…🏒 #gokraken
I wish everyone in the world had my parents as the I wish everyone in the world had my parents as their parents. 

Last night not only did they play with Collins while I worked, but they made dinner, did all the dishes, did laundry, ran a bath, and loved us fiercely. Getting this time in Calgary with them is always so precious, but last night I was in tears at their love and support. 

Honestly, I say it every time, but I won the parent lottery 😭
My Beginner Piano eCourse is fully out in the worl My Beginner Piano eCourse is fully out in the world!!

As of yesterday, the full course is released, and this wave of relief just washed over me!! The amount of time, energy, and resources that goes into these courses is more than I would have ever known, but I’m so happy, and grateful to have them available to people for a lifetime, and also to have a way to continue to offer music to many more people, in many more homes, for unlimited time!!

Tomorrow I’ll release a blog that will answer all the top questions I’ve been asked about my Preschool Music eCourse and my Beginner Piano eCourse, so you can see if they are a fit for you or anyone you know!!

But now, tell me a goal you’re dreaming up - work-related or not!! 
.
.
.
#mlmusicstudioecourse #misslaurensmusicstudio #onlinemusiclessons #preschoolmusic #beginnerpiano #beginnerpianolessons  #musiconline #onlinemusiclessons
I feel like we haven’t seen J for all of 2022, b I feel like we haven’t seen J for all of 2022, but at least C gets some moments like this!!🤍
I’m overdue for 5 Fun Facts, so let’s pair it I’m overdue for 5 Fun Facts, so let’s pair it with these five fun photos!

1. I didn’t like anything grapefruit before I had Collins, and now I’m always like, “Give me all the grapefruit sparkling water!”

2. I’ve always had multiple jobs from the time I was a teenager…I sum it up to me thinking that variety is the spice of life. 

3. I believe ketchup and mustard belong on breakfast egg sandwiches. 

4. If you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have said “a mom!” I still think it’s the greatest gift in the whole entire world. 

5. Even though I said variety is the spice of life, I am wildly good with repetition for an incredible amount of time…the same food, the same song, the same walk…I don’t know if it’s patience or just insanity, but I don’t get sick of the same thing over and over and over and over and over again. 

Give me a fun fact about you!!

#legettingtoknowyou #thebigisland #kona #hawaii #fivefunfacts
You are my sunshine…☀️ You are my sunshine…☀️
How long do a dozen muffins last in your house?! . How long do a dozen muffins last in your house?!
.
.
.
#lepamperedchef #browniepaneverydamnday #bananachocolatechipmuffins #glutenfree #dairyfree #cookbook2point0
“I'll take myself from the only home we've ever “I'll take myself from the only home we've ever shared together and I'll move wherever you need to go. I'll do that because I love you. I love you, and that's more important to me than our address. I choose us.”

My brother sent me this quote from The Family Man and it gave me chills. That sums it up. That’s [hockey] life. I choose him…🤍
I know y’all had high hopes for me at the beginn I know y’all had high hopes for me at the beginning of the season that I’d attend a record amount of hockey games, but I can tell you, that has not happened…oops. 

Still his #1 (and 2) fan. Go J…🏒 #gokraken
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ABOUT

Owner of Miss Lauren’s Music Studio. Author of the Brownie Pan Every Damn Day Cookbooks. Consultant for Pampered Chef. Lover of Random Questions.

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