Let’s talk meditation! If you’ve been following me for any time, you know my love for meditation. Many moons ago, I started on a meditation challenge, or journey you may call it. What started with a month long journey in my Happiness Project, turned into a year, and then turned into a life-long practice after that. My styles and variations of meditation have shifted and changed, and my allowance of time for meditation has especially changed every time I add another member to our family, but what the practice has given me has never changed. I often say you realize the benefits of meditation when you stop doing it, or when you miss a day, or when you’re in a time of stress. You realize the benefits when ‘you-know-what’ hits the fan, and you’re able to manage it with ease, or more ease than you would have otherwise. My husband also benefits from meditation for reasons such as focusing on his sport, and winding down for sleep. While I find meditation gives me energy and rejuvenates me. Our kids seeing us meditate and start to practice in small exposures on their own has been such a gift to see – I hope it sets them up for a lifetime of mindfulness. Prior to our oldest daughter’s birthday, I stumbled upon miindfully and their dog, TATE, that walked kids through meditation in a very kid-friendly way – I was hooked! I am so honoured to talk to Natalie today – the Founder behind this gem of a business, that’s more than a business – it’s a community trying to offer peace and resilience to our kids in their everyday lives.
Natalie, thank you so much for agreeing to talk all things kids and meditation! Let’s start with you telling us a little about yourself, personally and professionally?
I am mother of four boys (including twins) who are only four years apart from the eldest to the youngest (twins)! My honours Bachelor of Health Sciences awarded me a lengthy career with Pfizer Canada right out of university. After having children, I left my career at Pfizer and I found myself becoming a Certified Meditation and Mindfulness teacher, a trained Crisis Responder for Kids Help Phone, and getting my diploma in Children’s Mindfulness from the Centre of Excellence. I also have a CPD certificate in Mindfulness in Children. I love yoga and my passion for it led me to complete my 200-hour certified yoga teacher certificate. I have spent a great deal of time on television and love being an expert in Children’s mental fitness while balancing it with being a busy mother of four.
Personally, I love to hike anywhere – mountains, near the lake, forests…wherever I can connect with nature! For someone who is so into mental fitness and mindfulness, I am not great at sitting still and this is why I do the work that I do. You don’t have to be a calm, serene individual to start a meditation practice!
My husband is my best friend, and I am so grateful for his ongoing support, always. Our four boys bring us a beautiful blend of crazy and calm and teaching them about how to be mentally strong has been one of my greatest accomplishments as a parent. I love to travel, meet new people, and support others in their dreams and goals. Giving always makes me feel better than taking and I believe that finding the silver lining in any situation can help bring you back to baseline. When I am in doubt, I stop and listen to my breath…it always guides me to peace.
What inspired you to start miindfully and to focus specifically on kids and meditation?
I LOVE being a mother and I am both grateful & humbled for the role I play in the lives of our boys. I have always regarded wellness as a central aspect of my well-being and once I became a parent, my dedication to wellness naturally included a focus on our children’s health. The truth is that I had a scary experience being diagnosed as Canada’s 29th COVID-19 patient in late February 2020. As often happens with tough situations, I found that I was able to learn and grow from what I went through physically and emotionally. As a result, I was inspired to create miindfully. I wanted to build something that could support my children’s mental health so that they were prepared for when difficult situations arose. I wanted to prepare them proactively for the inevitable stressors that life can place upon them as they grow. Meditation, mindfulness, and learning about the power of breath was an incredibly powerful, and simple, tool in my recovery from my COVID-19 experience. I wanted to arm them with the skills that I had never been taught as a child. This is when miindfully was born!
You’re right – meditation really is powerful. I love the practice of meditation for myself, and I know firsthand the many benefits. Can you share some of the benefits of meditation, for adults and kids alike?
For people who haven’t experienced meditation & mindfulness in their life, it is difficult to understand the benefits. The rewards of meditation and mindfulness come with ongoing practice and dedication. We don’t practice meditation to be good at meditation, we practice meditation to be good at life. The benefits are seen when we encounter a challenging situation emotionally or mentally and we have the skills to navigate it. It’s one of the most cost effective and simple starting points to strengthen your “mental muscles”.
In my opinion, meditation looks different for adults versus kids. For adults, meditation is the art of training your mind to focus and redirect your thoughts. It can be compared to the art of working on your golf swing. It is all about practice. The more you do it, the better prepared you will be for game-time. We need to strengthen our mental muscles just like we need to strengthen our physical ones. Redirecting your thoughts to a mantra, a thought or an anchor is like a mental bicep curl! The more we do it, the stronger we will become!
Obvious benefits of meditation in adults:
- reduced anxiety/depression,
- decreased stress,
- better sleep patterns,
- lowered blood pressure,
- greater compassion
….to name only a few!
Although we don’t have as many robust, concrete data sets on children and meditation, we certainly know that in addition to the above benefits, it also helps with self-regulation, self-awareness and increases their ability to focus. Meditation in kids is simply about learning what it FEELS like in the body to be calm and actively acknowledging how it feels in that moment. Simple exercises like listening to a calm voice tell a story, using their imaginations and understanding the power of calm breathing, will help them learn their own techniques that will inevitably support them in times of stress.
Most of us who understand the benefits of meditation, learned it in adulthood and it most likely came to us following a stressful period in our lives. Imagine how incredible it would have been to learn these skills as a child and have been better prepared for that difficult moment!
Are there any notable transformations and success stories you want to share from kids who you’ve seen or heard from practicing meditation?
Oh gosh, I have SO many…where to begin! One of the most incredible parts of being a Children’s Mental Fitness Coach is hearing the messages from parents whose children have had huge success incorporating more mindfulness, or “mental fitness” as I like to call it, into their lives!
One of my favorites was a young boy who was a race car driver with a very Type A personality. He was extremely hard on himself, and his parents bought him a mediTATE puppy so that he could listen to the calming stories on his way to his races. Their hope was that it would help him navigate the stress of race day, the fear of losing and ultimately, understanding how to deal with disappointment in a productive manner. One day, during a race that he was winning, he got pushed off the track by another car, which left him disqualified. His mother prepared herself for a meltdown as the rescue car pulled him and his banged-up car back to the pit. Instead, she was greeted by a child who was not only calm, but he was also confident and genuinely composed. When she asked him if he was okay, his answer was simply that when he got pushed off the track, he was about to lose it. When that feeling came on, he instinctively started to trace a box on the palm of his hand. Using his inhales and exhales. At the age of 10, he knew that box breathing would help him through the stressful experience. This is one of the many breathing techniques that is easily taught by using TATE! His mother was floored! One parent raved about how TATE helped their child feel comfortable going to overnight camp for the first time because she found her “bravery button” as she entered the cabin for the first time. I have received feedback from children with extremely difficult diagnoses like cancer, comment on how TATE helped them so much that they wished every child in the Oncology wing had a puppy! Stories of kids who have been through traumatic personal experiences, finally being able to sleep (and stay asleep) after spending time with TATE. They go on and on…all because one small puppy helped them learn about their “inside body superpowers”!
Wow, wow, and more wow! Thank you for sharing those stories! How can meditation look different throughout the growth in kids’ ages? And should meditation look different for different temperaments and/or ages?
It is important to have expectations for children around mindfulness and meditation. To expect a six-year-old to wake up, sit in the lotus position and meditate for 15 minutes, is close to impossible and frankly, it’s difficult for most adults! With children, we are simply planting the seeds of mindfulness and meditation. We are introducing them to very simple concepts around feeling calm, still…even bored!
Children ages 0 to 7-years-old spend most of their time in a theta brain state – this basically means that they are in a dream-like existence. This brain state makes them highly suggestible and open to being introduced to meditation. This is when they believe in imaginative concepts like the tooth fairy, Easter bunny, Santa Claus, etc. It is a great time to teach them about their feelings and their connection to their thoughts. Here is where they can start to learn and understand about their own authentic sense of self. At this age, we can play fun games with nature, simple story listening and understand how the senses (smell, sight, touch, hearing) impact the way they are feeling.
Around age eight, they start to become more conscious as their prefrontal cortex starts to play a role. From ages eight to twelve, they start to enter more of a beta brain state, and this means we need to elevate our level of communication to adapt to their developing brain. Here, we can start to incorporate more complex meditation strategies like breathwork and more focused techniques like body scans and stories that are more advanced. Even mantra meditations like “I am Brave”, or “I am loved”, where the child starts to refocus their brain back to the mantra for a couple repetitions can be done at this age.
Different temperaments in children means it’s important to have a personalized approach. As a parent, you know your child best. Some 10-year-olds will behave more like 7-year-olds, with respect to their maturity level, and some 10-year-olds will be more like 12-year-olds. Birth order can also play a role in temperament differences among children in the same family.
I love the brain! Thank you for putting that in perfectly understandable terms for all! Do you have any advice for introducing meditation and mindfulness in kids who have difficulty focusing, and/or those on the spectrum or diagnosed with ADHD?
I get this question a lot. My expertise is in teaching kids and parents about how to become more mentally strong through mindfulness and meditation techniques. I will not profess myself to be an expert in ADHD or autism. That said, research done around “mindful parenting” in ADHD has become more accessible and this is because the parent-child relationship is central to the success of these measures. Often the parent-child connection is severely disturbed when a child has ADHD and this can cause “parental overactivity”. More so, ADHD seems to have a hereditary component, so parents may have similar challenges as their children. A mindfulness treatment focusing on both the parent and the child would be the best in this situation and I can safely say that we have some incredible feedback from families in this situation. TATE acts as the “guide” for both child & the parent, and this has anecdotally been incredibly helpful! I have received feedback from parents of children with autism that the mindfulness learned when spending time with TATE has been very successful. I would say that the most important thing has been the feeling of “heaviness” or “weight” that comes when the puppy is laying on the child with the feeling of the vibration of the speaker playing. The sensory stimulation is what supports a host of mental, emotional, physical and social benefits for kids on the spectrum.
Do you see a connection between screens and how that has impacted our mindfulness?
Ahhhhh – screens. I loved diving into the recent best-selling book, The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. I listened to it on my dog walks and found myself doing extra loops to finish chapters! As a mother of four boys who is into wellness, I have very few compliments for screens. When kids are exposed to screens too often, their brains start to get desensitized to the sensory overload that they provide. The brain starts to crave more fast-paced, overstimulating exposures and results in keeping children in the sympathetic nervous system for longer periods of time. The more they spend in this fight or flight part of the brain, the more they might suffer from anxiety, poor sleep, low immunity, poor focus, and emotional meltdowns. It can even contribute to physical symptoms such as headaches and body aches. However, I do think it’s important to recognize that technology is not going to disappear. As with many things, we need to adapt and find ways that technology can be used for GOOD, especially when it comes to our children. If we can find ways to utilize the benefits of technology (for example, communicating growth mindset and mindfulness content to children without actively staring at a screen), this can be hugely valuable! One of my favourite things to do is to find the “silver linings” in life. If we can provide children and parents the information to learn mindfulness and meditation techniques without directly being exposed to screens, we have found the hidden benefits of technology! This is my hope with miindfully & mediTATE.
You really are succeeding in that goal! Do you have any thoughts on postures, positioning, and eyes open or closed for practicing meditation?
When it comes to kids, there are no rules! As I mentioned earlier, we are just planting the seeds and helping them to learn the ideas around mindfulness & meditation. Personally, I have always loved meditating lying down, because I am not someone who naps very well, so the fear of accidentally falling asleep is close to impossible for me – and if I do fall asleep, it is because my body needed it! One of the reasons why people fear meditation is because it feels overwhelming to sit still and quiet the mind in a world that is praised for being productive and multi-tasking. I believe that doing whatever you need to do, especially when just starting out, is the best way to be successful. If you were to decide to run a marathon, you wouldn’t wake up the first day and run 42 kilometres at a challenging time. You would slowly work your way up to increasing distances and times until you felt more experienced. Part of being mindful in our lives is to approach new things with an accepting attitude. That said, I do feel closing your eyes is helpful when it comes to the actual practice of meditation, especially when just starting out. When we close down the eyes, we eliminate all of our external visual stimulation that forces our brains to process. Closing the eyes while in a waking state can be a beautiful way to connect with the way you feel in your body.
What are the biggest challenges kids, or their guiding adults, face when introducing meditation? Any suggestions on how to overcome these?
Don’t over think it! Keep it simple and try to find a platform to guide you. The way that I got into meditation was by doing a 21-day challenge with some friends. When you create a sense of community – just like going to the gym with friends, you find more accountability. This involves setting out to do the challenge individually in your own home but at the same time, knowing that others are doing their daily meditations in their homes too!
When it comes to kids, I think the best way to introduce them to meditation is to model the behaviour yourself. Kids learn not by what you say, but by what you do. One of the best things I love about miindfully is that there are so many parent/child audio tracks that you can swap for a bedtime book reading session together. This ticks two boxes: modelling the behaviour and spending time being present with your child. I can’t think of a better gift to give them, and you!
We came in contact because we gave my oldest daughter Tate for her 4th birthday to meditate with! Can you tell us a bit about Tate, what people can expect, and what you feel the transformation of Tate will look like going forward?
I love this! At miindfully, we build children’s “mental fitness” through mindfulness stories and activities played through a multi-sensory plush toy named mediTATE – “TATE” for short!
TATE is equipped with a child-friendly, Bluetooth speaker (found inside of TATE’s belly), that when connected to the miindfully audio library, delivers a magical play experience that builds resilience, bolsters self-confidence, supports imagination and creates feelings of calm to children of all ages. TATE‘s Bluetooth speaker is also equipped with a headphone jack, so that children can listen out loud or with headphones. One of the best parts of TATE is that the Bluetooth speaker reaches over 30 feet, so once you choose an audio track story, the device doesn’t need to be anywhere in site of your child!
The miindfully stories and activities are created with the help of psychotherapists, child life specialists, mindfulness and communication experts, and they are backed by paediatricians and children’s mental health clinicians.
Our audio library contains hundreds of minutes of content, broken down into categories like: Adventures, Nature, Sports, Learning, World, Affirmations, Music, Breathing, Me and My Grown-Up, and more!
TATE has four “Breathing Paws” which teach breathing activities to lower stress and build emotional resilience skills. TATE also has an essential oil heart for children to apply child-approved essential oils and engage their olfactory sense. TATE‘s fur is soft and textured to stimulate children’s tactile sense.
I always say that TATE is so much more than just a soft, plush puppy to cuddle. TATE is a connector, a teacher, and a friend!
Our goals to grow with miindfully are lofty and I am super excited about what we have in store in terms of developments of the toys, the technology, and the immersive play experience! Bringing a TATE into your home will only reap the most positive of benefits for your entire family!
If parents don’t have the funds right now to invest in Tate and the miindfully program, what advice would you give them on where to start in introducing meditation to their kids?
There are so many free resources online to find relaxing bedtime stories and mindfulness activities for you and your child. A simple Google search will come up with some great options. If you do want to use some of the resources on miindfully.com, you can go to our website, click on the MEDITATIONS LIBRARY and listen to the 3 FREE meditation tracks: “Magical Treehouse Part #1”, “I am Brave”, and “The Flower.”
If you are looking for a great and super unique holiday gift for your child, TATE is a super idea since it is more than just a toy – it is a play experience! I wanted to make a toy that kids could come back to time and time again. So many toys get used once and then never again – I wanted to make sure this was not the case when you make the investment in miindfully + TATE!
Is there anything else you want to share today?
I want to share that I am grateful for the opportunity to speak to your community about mindfulness and meditation in kids! Thank you so much, Lauren!
There is one more concept I wanted to share that is truly the foundation of why I do what I do with miindfully:
We spend a great deal of time (and money) on our kids’ physical fitness. This is very important as physical fitness is a cornerstone in building optimal health. However, you wouldn’t put your child in a game of hockey if you didn’t teach them how to hold a stick or shoot a puck. You wouldn’t put them on the soccer field if you didn’t teach them how to kick a ball and run towards the opponents’ net to score a goal. You teach them how to practice it before game-time.
The same goes for education – you wouldn’t give a child a test on fractions if they had never had the opportunity to practice the fractions before the test. Conversely, when it comes to mental fitness – we tend to wait until there is an issue before we react. Even something as simple as sleep issues or emotional regulation challenges. We don’t do anything to help our children proactively practice how to build stronger mental muscles so that they are ready for when stressors arise. Telling a child to “calm down and take a deep breath” in the heat of the situation, is like telling a child to write a test on fractions when they have never been introduced to them before! We need to teach them how to be calm, self-resilient, and compassionate to themselves and others. This practice is what will provide them with tools to tackle the game of life as they grow up. Mental fitness is just as important as physical fitness and in truth, they mutually impact each other. Just as we want to teach our kids physical agility, physical flexibility, physical strength…we need to teach them mental agility, mental flexibility, and mental strength!
So perfectly said!! Thank you for that reminder. Where can people find you to follow along?
You can find us at: www.miindfully.com (remember two “ii” in miindfully).
YouTube: @miindfully
You can reach me at [email protected] and my team at [email protected]
Amazing! Thank you again for all your have created, and all you continue to do!